you might be from Illinois if...

[blackdirt beagles]

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18
inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by,
you might live in Illinois. .





If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each
year because it's the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in
Illinois.



If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might
live in Illinois.



If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year,
you might live in Illinois.



If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you
might live in Illinois.



If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his
forehead, you might live in Illinois.



If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in
Illinois.



If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in
Illinois.



If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a
wrong number, you might live in Illinois.



YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE ILLINOIS RESIDENT WHEN:

1. "Vacation" means going east or west on I-80 for the weekend.

2. You measure distance in hours.

3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.

4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again

5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard,
without flinching.

6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including
weddings).

7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
unlocked.

8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use
them.

9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
snow.

11. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road
construction.

12. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your
blue spruce.

13. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.

14. Down South to you means Missouri.

15 A brat is something you eat.

16. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.

17. You go out to a tail gate party every Friday.

18. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.

19. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

20. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."

21. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your
Illinois friends.

[Emery]

That first one should be 3 ft of ice and sit on a 5 gal bucket in -20 weather and hope that a fish swims by.... Oh, that is where I grew up....

Emery

[illinois boy]

#7 is us we have security lites but never lock our house heck we have a 2 car garage adn have only parked one of our cars in it about 20 times durrring deerseason the grage door opener is hung outside whit a cardboard sign that reads hang deer inside cold beer in fridge when we get back from hunting there are several people there drinking

[yankeerebelkennels]

Those were good. Driving 65MPH thru a blizzard really hit home.