The Guy's Rules

[Bunnyseeker]

The Guys' Rules
>At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
>Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
> >We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
> >Now here are the rules from the male side.
> >These are our rules!
> >Please note .... these are all numbered "1"
> >ON PURPOSE!
> >1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
>down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
>you
>leaving it down.
> >1. Sunday/Saturday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
>tides. Let it be.
> >1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
>that
>way.
> 1 . Crying is blackmail.
> >1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do
>not
>work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
> >1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
> >1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
>what
>we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
> >1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
> >1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
>all comments become null and void after 7 days.
> >1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us
>to
>act like soap opera guys.
> >1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
> >1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
>makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
> >1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
>Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
> >1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
>commercials.
> >1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
> >1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,
>for
>example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
>what mauve is.
> >1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
> >1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
>nothing's
>wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
> >1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
>you
>don't want to hear.
> >1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
>fine...Really.
> >1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
>discuss
>such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
> >1. You have enough clothes.
> >1. You have too many shoes.
> >1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
> >1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
>tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
> >Pass this to as many men as you can -- to give them a laugh.
> >Pass this to as many women as you can -- to give them a bigger laugh!

[Smoke]

that is a good one. I am going to give it my mine. Maybe she will understand me a bit better