Horse Race & Revenge

[tinymwoods]

Moe was sitting quitely reading his paper when his wife walked up behind him and whacked him in the back of the head.
"What was that for?" he asked.
"That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Dianne wriiten on it" she replied.
"Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Dianne was the name of the horse I bet on" He explained.
"Oh honey I am so sorry", she said,. "I should have known there was a good explanation and that you were faithful to me."
Three days later Moe was watching a ballgame on TV when his wife walked up and hit him in the head again, this time with an iron skillet! When he came to, he asked "What in the he!l was that for?"
She repilied, "Your horse called today!"


A 15 year old boy was walking down the street dragging a flattened frog on a string behind him. He came up to a "cat house" and knocked on the door. When the madam answered she saw this young boy and asked him what he wanted. He sai, "I want to have sex with one of the women inside. I have the money to buy it, and I am not leaving without it." The madam figured why not, he had the money and invited him in. Once inside he asked, "Do any of the girls have any diseases?" Of course the madam said "No". The boy said, "I heard all the men talking about having to get shots after being with Amber. She's the one I want!" The madam was surprised by this, but told him to go to the first door on the right. He headed down the hall dragging his squashed frog behind him. 10 minuites later he came back, still dragging the frog. He paid the madam and headed to the door. The madam stopped him and asked, "Why did the you pick the only girl with a disease instead of the others?" He said, "Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home, my parents are going out to a eat, leaving me at home with the babysitter. After they leave, my baby sitter will have sex with me because she is fond of cute little boys. She will get the disease I just caught. When mom and dad get back, dad will take th babysitter home. On the way, he will have sex with her in the car, and he will get the disease. Then when dad gets home, him and mom will have sex and give it to her. In the morning when dad goes to work, the Milkman will deliver the milk, have a quickie with mom, and catch the disease. And he's the prick that ran over my frog!