Simple home remedies

[Emery]

1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING



WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE



ITSELF.



2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE



ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.



3. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY



USING THE SINK.



4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED



FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER



TO USE A TIMER.



5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU



FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE



BUTTON.



6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN



YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.



7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD -40 AND DUCT TAPE.



IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40.



IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.



8. REMEMBER - EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.



9. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL



PROBLEM.



DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR



ANYTHING



BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.