Life's simple truths

[Emery]

It's not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame.



You are not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.



We have enough youth. How about a fountain of 'smart'?


When you work here, you can name your own salary.

I named mine, 'Skimpy'.



Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface



A fool and his money can throw one heck of a party.



When blondes have more fun do they know it?



Five days a week my body is a temple. The other two it's an amusement park.



LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKES USE BIRTH CONTROL



Money isn't everything. But it keeps the kids in touch.



Don't Drink and Drive

You might hit a bump and spill something.



Time's fun when you're having flies.

......Kermit the Frog



We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.



Red meat is not bad for you, fuzzy green meat is bad for you.



One good thing about Alzheimer's is you get to meet new people every day.



Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge to produce reproductive organs.


Gaseous clouds detected around Uranus.



ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.



GUN CONTROL:

using both hands



The more I learn about terrorism, the more I understand the bill collector.



The latest survey shows that three out of four people make up 75% of the population