Here we go

[hunt-n-fish]

An Ann Arbor area mortician had a new apprentice who was learning the embalming ropes. He walked into the embalming room where a cadaver was lying on the table. Thinking he knew enough now to begin the procedure without his boss, he began examining the body. He rolled it over and to his amazement there was a cork in its rear end. Mystified, he pulled it out, and immediately heard, the Michigan Wolverine fight song come out the guys butt.

Startled by what had happened, he shoved the cork back into the cadaver and ran up the stairs to find his mentor. "Sir, you've got to come down and help me, I've just seen something I can't believe."

Annoyed by the naiveté of his assistant, he said OK and followed him downstairs. "There, look at the cork in the rear end of that body, I couldn't imagine what it was doing there so I pulled it out. Please you do it."

The mortician was a bit surprised to see the cork, too, so he walked to the table and removed the cork. Then the Michigan fight song started playing. Exasperated, he replaced the cork in its appointed position, turned to his assistant and said: "What's so surprising about that. I've heard thousands of ass-holes sing that song."

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One day, while driving along, I saw a priest. I thought I would do a good deed so I pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going Father?"

"I'm going to give mass at St. Francis Church, about 2 miles down the road," replied the priest.

"Climb in, Father! I'll give you a lift!"

The priest climbed into the rear passenger seat, and we continued down the road.

Suddenly, I saw a Michigan fan walking down the road with that "M" shirt on, and I instinctively swerved as if to hit him. But, as usual, I swerved back into the road just in time. Even though I was certain that I had missed the guy, I still heard a loud "THUD." Not understanding where the noise came from, I glanced in my mirrors but still didn't see anything. I then remembered the priest and turned to him and said, "Sorry Father, I almost hit that Michigan fan."

"That's OK," replied the priest, "I got him with the door."