No num nums tonight

[Emery]

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I have never figured out why men think with their head and women
with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.
The passion starts to
heat up, when she eventually said "I don't feel like
it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every husband
on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional
needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She
responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for whom I
am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep...
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several
different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take
so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment
her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went onto
the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I
was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me
because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't
even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said,
"That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?!
I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man, enough for me to
satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look
like she was going to
kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who
I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

[jeffn]

TRUE

[fair chase]

Might be longer than a day.

[kybeagle]

Being a woman myself-I would have ripped his eyeballs out & it would be quite a while before he would even sleep in the same room as me.