guys rules

[blackdirt beagles]

> > The Guys' Rules
> > (At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the
> > guys' side of the story. I must admit, it's pretty good.)
> >
> >
> > We always hear "the rules"from the female side.
> >
> >
> > Now here are the rules from the male side.
> >
> > These are our rules!
> > Please note ... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
> >
> > 1. Men ARE not mind readers.
> >
> > 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
> > down. We need it up, you need it down.You don't hear us complaining about
> > you leaving it down.
> >
> > 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
>Let
> > it be.
> >
> > 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that
> > way.
> >
> > 1. Crying is blackmail.
> >
> > 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not
> > work!
> > Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
> >
> > 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
> >
> > 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
> > we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
> >
> > 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
> >
> > 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
> > all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
> >
> > 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to
> > act like soap opera guys.
> >
> > 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
> >
> > 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
> > makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
> >
> > 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
> > Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
> >
> > 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
>commercials.
> >
> > 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
> >
> > 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,
>for
> > example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
> > what mauve is.
> >
> > 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
> >
> > 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
> > nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
>hassle.
> >
> > 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
> > don't want to hear.
> >
> > 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear IS
> > fine...Really.
> >
> > 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
> > discuss such topics as football, the shotgun formation, triangle defense,
> > ground rule double, icing, other sports related topic or cars.
> >
> > 1. You have enough clothes.
> >
> > 1. You have too many shoes.
> >
> > 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
> >
> > 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
> > tonight. But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.