Things to make you go Hmm

[Emery]

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.



2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor...



3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.



4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?



6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.



7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?



10. Is there another word for synonym?



12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?



18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?



19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?



21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?



22. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.



24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?



25. How is it possible to have a civil war?



26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?



27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?



28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?



29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?



30. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "***teroids"?



32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?